The thought of men never crossed my mind until I was in my teens, and when I finally did think of men it happened abruptly. During the summer of 2005 ... was 14 years old. I was still dressing up but I would only do it at night when everyone was asleep. I would even go to sleep dressed up in my sister’s bra and panties, and there were nights when I would masturbate, but never to men – just to the thoughts of how sexy I felt wearing women’s attire. But that all changed one night. There was a news. It was bright. There seemed to be no central form of light she could see, but it was almost like it emanated from the pond. She took a few steps forward, and sat into the grass. It was softer than anything she had ever felt. Her fingers ran through it, tasting it's energy from her fingertips. She laid down, touching her legs and arms against the grass, swaying back and forth along it. She reached to discard the rest of her nightie, immersing herself completely into the grass. Her hand moved. I only pulled the curtains but did not close the door. Slowly the entire house became dark as the lights were switched off one by one and I was counting seconds. I don’t know when I had dozed off, when I suddenly left someone nudging me; instinct told me it was Ishtu. She was lying beside me and pushing me to the centre of the bed. Before I could realize what was happening my t-shirt & shorts were gone and I was left with only my jocks. It was summer so it actually felt nice to have the cool. ”I nodded, accepting her decision as the correct way to deal with the situation. Then I asked. “What about Dave?”“What about him?”“Do you want me to tell him he can’t come here?”“Is that what you want?”“I want what you want.”“What if I said, ‘I never want to see him again.”“Then I would inform him in no uncertain terms that he’s not welcome in our house.”“And you think that will stop him?”“Probably not.” I admitted.“So why say it in the first place?”“Because you just said you didn’t want to see.
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