I forced myself to get out of bed and get children up, change them, feed them, and try to make believe that nothing had changed in their little world....oon I was set in a pattern of taking them to daycare, picking them up, playing with them before fixing their dinner, bathing them, and then putting them down for the night.Sometimes what was going on didn't hit me hard until well into the night lying alone in our bed when the insomnia came. Then I was force to relive what was happening to me and. "We keep in touch when we can. Letters mostly." That's great, if you think of it be sure to say I said hi." It was an awkward silence then. I threw my butt down and we both walked to the entrance. He held the door for me and as I walked past him I could get the manly scent of sweat, my conflicted brain didn't know what to think. I was attracted to him but he made me nervous.I stood at the elevator waiting of the carriage to descend, he walked to his office slowly."You know I am nearly certain. So much so, if I'm looking at porn all I see or want to see is cocks and while doing so I can literally feel what it feels like having one in my mouth. During those moments I'm at least 90% gay, maybe more. I have zero interest in women. And then as quickly as it came, the feeling leaves me, for weeks or months. The old Jim comes back and vaginas are the essence of beauty in this world...once again. Now this back and forth has been going on for about twenty years. Never changes much. I've had. I could see it clearly now. I was a small single engine plane with the wing over the cockpit. I'm sure a knowledgeable person could have identified it but I wasn't one of those people. Neither was Bennie. We continued to wave. Bennie saw a window open and a small item fall from the plane. We ran to it. It was a note that read, "We can land at London-Corbin Airport off exit 38. If you will meet us there, change your 'hi" to a "y."Bennie looked at me and I nodded. We ran over and changed the "hi".
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