The world she often escaped into when reality was less than she could tolerate. A world of beauty. The dance ended with the song. She walked off the ...tage to loud applause and many men trying to approach her offering her drinks and money. The same money she left behind her on the stage which had been laid there for her, which she didn't even take time to notice. Politely she made her way back to the booth where Mike sat with Annie as they grinned and clapped. She grinned, head slightly down.. People use the word ‘void’. For me it was just the opposite. There was no void, I wasn’t empty. I was filled. I was filled with Michael, with anger, with despair. I was filled with loss. Michael’s death brought me to the second Great Unshakable Truth. I would never be loved like that again. Nobody could and nobody would. I never thought that thought but it was always with me. I’ve lived across the bridge for all these years and I’ve never come back until today. Ben thought I should and I know. You were – are – clever, very clever. I used to hear you discussing music, politics and chess and stuff. I learned to play chess because of you.’ Now it was my turn to be amazed. ‘Oh?’ I managed. Another long silence. At length she spoke again, turning towards me and taking my hand. Zap! Electricity! ‘I’m very upset with Gary,’ she said. ‘He’s been going on about this for weeks. I have no interest in other men or sex for the sake of it. I had enough cocks at school and at uni, I don’t need. Yes..please fuck my ass... He whooped with triumph saying "louder slut louder" until she yelled out " YES..YES...I WANT YOU TO SHOVE YOUR HUGE COCK UP MY ASS!" He made me lie on the bed so Mel could drain the contents of her cunt into my mouth. He changed the guy lying on the bed again, who was all fucked out anyway, and made Mel mount a new guy standing over him on the edge of the bed. He made me kneel down and lick her ass to getting it moist for him with all the juices I'd licked from her.
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