. a sight I did not wish to see.The throb from my wrists is not incredibly painful, thanks to the hot water. And soon, consciousness fades. A thought ...dly crosses my dying mind that I shall finally soon have the answer that mankind has wondered about, and warred about, for ages... what lies beyond death.I do indeed see a white light, and feel myself lifting out of my body. The reactions are so universal that it's been postulated that they're biologically based. We'll see.The white light. Somewhere, on some deep level, I still had to admit that I loved the kid. That I missed him, even. Or maybe I just missed the idea that I had my own family. I couldn't be sure.It's what had finally decided things for me, though. It was the pebble too many; the fucking straw that had broken the camel's back. I was ranting and raving before, angry, upset, hating the world. Possibly, though, maybe even probably, I would have eventually calmed down. I would have eventually found it within myself to. I know who it is immediately. I don't even have to look at the caller id. Melissa has to be wondering where I am. She probably assumes I broke down or worse got into an accident on the way to the mall. I decide to just turn the phone off. I don't want to talk to her now. I don't want to talk to anyone. I find a bench to sit on out of the normal flow of students. I need to think now. How do I confront her? Do I confront her? Should I just throw away our relationship and pretend like she doesn't. "Her eyes scan me, top to bottom and back. Skechers, jeans and a black zip-up hoody over a Lamb of God T-shirt that Dad hates."You're smoking."I'm taken aback a moment. "Uhh, thanks."She laughs and nods at my hands. "No. I mean, you're actually smoking." Oh, right." I look down, somewhat redundantly. Wisps of steam are rising into the cooler air around me. I shrug, my nervousness adding to the internal heat.She tilts slowly off-axis, looking behind me, then returns to the vertical, brow.
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