We just have to get more money in the next grant. It's like Allenina said about making a porn movie: you propose a bigger project, you get a bigger bu...get." I had proposed a study of one hundred sex workers in Chiang Mai, Bangkok, Phuket, and Kho Samui. It had seemed like a manageable project for three field workers: our Thai friend Nancee, Tran and me. Professor Finch had done his utmost, but the foundation that was funding it cut the budget for Tran out and had given me only five thousand. Just like me. You're happy about it.Aren't you? This is what you wanted? No regrets?"I crushed out my cigarette and immediately lit another one as Imentally built an arsenal of words that would answer my mother'squestion while answering my own questions at the same time."I am happy, Mom. But even though I'm happy, its like sometimes I don'tknow whether to laugh or to cry. The thing is that in my heart, asweird as this whole thing has been, I know I'd do it over again if Ihad it to do over. Your parasitic existence is over. You will have to get a job and earn a living because you will no longer be able to sponge off some poor sap like me. As a man you will be held accountable for your actions. Running credit cards to their max and leaving the debt to your husband won't work any more; you'll have to pay up yourself or suffer the consequences." But this is horrible," he whined. "My clothes won't fit! Where will I live? What will I do? I don't know how to be a man!" Don't worry,. I was leaving this group when two of the older children asked me if I could take them inside as the staff of the capitol would not allow youths in unaccompanied by an adult. ‘Sure, let’s go take a look inside,’ and began walking toward the front entrance. I had a pretty big backpack on that was my traveling luggage. I know how to travel light but it was still cumbersome and I was juggling it around getting comfortable. There was a pretty good commotion behind me so I looked back to see a bunch.
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