..to fuck my dirty slut face." As I heard those words, the illusion that my mom was faithful has dissipated. "Huh? What? I cannot hear you slut!!!" he...told her still holding her hair in his fist. "Fuck my face!!!" screamed my mom at him like an animal. There was another shock coming for me. I did not realize it by hearing his voice. But for a split second the man looked to the side and I knew it was him. Yes, it was him and I could not believe my eyes. Another wave of anger and hate has hit. “Johnny. That was amazing. Not perfect but very, very good. I have some questions that I want you to think about before giving me the truest answer you can.”This was a fall back phrase Mom liked to use when questioning my sister and I about mistakes. The truest answer was always the answer with hindsight, not excuses of what we were thinking and feeling at the time. No mention of why, just the answer that applied now.“Am I in trouble?” I asked.“Not at all, I’m just trying to understand. Are you. My lips meet yours and I kiss you. You reciprocate with a slight urgency. I kiss you long and hard. My tongue tries to enter your mouth. Your open invitingly. I am lost in the moment as our tongues meet for the first time. We can.’t get enough of each other. I look at the couple in the front seat. Assured that they are still involved in the movie, I slowly move my right hand from over your shoulder to under it. You tense a little but understand my intention. You lift your right hand slightly so. I came out with a lipstick, I didn't needit, but I liked the shade.When I got back, we agreed to meet again, mum would ring us to arrangea day that coincided with one of dad's club outings.In work I was still displaying my male self, how long I would be ableto keep it up I didn't know. What I did know was I wished I was living24/7 as a woman.My life was now busy with change. I'd had a couple of sessions ofpsychiatric assessment and was now receiving counselling, meetingregularly with a peer.
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