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“Now, why am I a jerk?” I asked as I turned in my seat to face Chelsea. “I just asked if you were seeing someone.””Why didn’t you go with ...hem?” she asked. “I know you and Barb have hooked up before.”“Because I came over to talk to you, not them,” I answered. “And we are still talking.”She looked at me and took another drink before speaking.“I am not going out with anyone,” she sighed. “I have never gone out with anyone.””I find that hard to believe,” I said with a laugh. “You must be really. That was a major shot to the balls, and my understanding is that that’s pretty painful for you guys.” She smiled to cushion the words. It worked. “Are you going to be okay, or do we need to go to the emergency room?”I shook my head. “No, I’m sure I’ll be fine – you know, in a month or so. Oh, and also seriously, I would like some help finding my testicles. If they roll under the bleachers they’ll end up all covered with dirt and gum and stale popcorn. That would be unpleasant.”She laughed again. ‘You may ask me out for meals, or theatre, and I will accept. You may take me back to my flat, and I will even ask you in. But at the end of the evening, Jack, I will retire to my chaste bed, and you will come home here to your cold bed, cold because I am not in it.’ She got out a tissue and wiped her eyes. ‘My father will eventually find out that we are not together, and he will be as pleased as Punch. That is not a reason for you to change your mind, I just pointed that out for you to think. “I would be glad to lend a hand or a boob even,” Betty smiled towards Marlene and touched her tits.“You are lactating?” Marlene looked relieved.“I can’t stop. Once I started the tap never shut off and my tits hurt if I don’t empty them. I’d be happy to volunteer,” Betty smiled sweetly.Marlene said that same thing happened to her after her first twins. “It was so hard and all that milk just going to waste!”“I would drink it,” My Uncle Eddie stuck his tongue out but added that it was probably too.
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