Self loathing was a powerful emotion; it caused me to attack that thug, when the night before self preservation kept me from doing the same thing. It ...eemed to be an emotion strong enough to force one to do terribly stupid things.The shower and the day old coffee helped me with my self esteem issue even more. I still felt worthless, but not quite as suicidal. I knew from experience that by nightfall, I would have justified everything to myself. After that I could start my psychic healings.I. I tiptoed around the bedpost, unsure if I understood his signal. When I reached the empty side of my bed, he lay down and sighed.I crept in, sliding myself under the actual sheets. Kane shifted and placed a heavy paw on my covered hips. I didn't allow myself to sleep until I was sure he had returned to dreamland. Was he dreaming of taking me out for walks?A cold nose woke me in the early hours. "Do you need to pee again?" I climbed out of my wonderful, warm bed and headed to the kitchen. Kane. .. ," She started.I grabbed a hand full of her hair, wadded up her dress in back and walked her to the front door, opening it and moving her to the porch. I closed and locked the door, bolting it and using the safety chain. Then I walked back over to her lover and rolled him outside the kitchen door, into the back yard. He lay there with no pants on; they were inside the house, behind the locked glass door. I rifled through his pockets, threw his keys in a parts bin in my office removed his. The other kids in the village were jealous and ended up giving me gang beatings all through grades 1 - 7. It didn’t matter what I said or did; my parents never cared. I could show them my long list of severe injuries as proof and would be told to stop making up stories and go to my room. By the time I was 14, if you were to ask me for a list of past injuries, I would list off the injuries I didn’t have because it was the shorter list.One day, I woke up and said fuck this shit and started going.
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