Or was it the continual acting, immersing myself in a part, verynearly 24-7? I was sure that was a big part of it. I was never goingto be a professi...nal actor now, but this was a great substitute - theopportunity to fool people and make them think I was somebody else -even a working-class immigrant girl - so different from my real self,the married male IT professional and owner of a nice house in aprosperous area.Or was it simply being a member of the opposite sex? The newexperience of being. One of the chosen few: beauty, brains and success. Again, there were no obvious flaws.I suppose I'm a bit odd that way. I like my friends to be more human, more ordinary, if you will. You need a blemish or two to keep you humble, in my opinion. I have enough imperfections to keep me abject but I like being ordinary. The way I see it, if you're too perfect, you can only go one way. All the time I had room for improvement, I could keep trying. There's also a difference between liking who you are. I knew that at almost fifty years old, I was too old to be think of any drastic changes. Those kinds of changes were the second greatest reasons ex-cons couldn’t make it on the outside. The greatest reasons were the old habit that die hard. I had never been a drug user and I had no criminal friends, so the first reason wasn’t an issue.I decided that learning to cope with the changes was going to be my enemy. The way to handle it was to go slowly. I had thought that every one of those four. "Do you have any goddamn idea what time it is?" she asked."Uh ... no," Harry replied. He turned his head and saw a faint tinge of daylight through the bathroom windows. "Way too early would be my guess." You'd be right ... way too early. As punishment, Kelly still owes you two deep-throating practices, at some point today, and Carol owes me a screaming orgasm right now for the whole 'hum' thing." Oh damn, Madam," Carol said, grinning. "Muff diving after sucking Harry off? My life is just one.
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