For half my life I’d been deeply insecure, and then I’d built a wonderful life with this amazing woman. And now she was asking me to take a decisi...n that might destroy every good thing in my life. Everything I’d won and carefully nurtured these last twenty years.I closed my eyes, my heart pumping like it was going to jump out of my chest and wondered what the hell I was going to do. In my mind’s eye, I could still see the excited way in which Sue had been with Francis in the bar, when I’d first. That isn’t what I am talking about; you reach out and touch my breast over my silk shirt. What are you doing? Testing the help let’s see what your qualifications really are. You unzip your pants. Your cock is so big my lips go dry. Licking them you think that is and invitation so you push me down to the floor and grab my hair. No please this isn’t my job, then you shove your cock into my pretty little mouth and I suck it oh god how I suck it. You use my hair to move my head back and forth. " "I know that's why I bought it. I want to see your pussy cream. Show me how you play with yourself." My wife looked very excited to play with her new toys. She's a bit of a whore and likes to masturbate. She was smiling and very excited. She took off her thong and threw it at me. My wife was looking right at me while she played with her pussy. She moved her fingers all over her pussy and pushed her fingers up inside of her cunt. She put her finger into her mouth to taste herself. She was. .. I knew that I could think, some basic form of cognitive function, I was aware, me ... I was ME! (months later when I have started to transcribe my thoughts, I find it difficult to not be melodramatic, at times) At the time, I knew words, there were words that I knew, some had meaning, some were utterly outside of my present understanding. I had no context, no frame of reference, but ... there is one thing that I am now certain of, is that whoever, I had been, wherever I had come from, I had.
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