And yet I DID do it. And a third time, sad to say. I even felt I wanted MORE and I rubbed myself again, but 3 is really my limit, so that was it.Even ...s I write this, my heart beats fast and I begin to perspire with dread. And yet there IS that tingle . . .I was VERY disturbed about it ALL. Certainly the dream, but the fact I had orgasmed over something I consciously HATE, something I would NEVER even consider in real life. Why? It was about 3AM, but I couldn’t go back to sleep, thinking,. ". Oh, my fucking goddess..was this going where I thought it was...?" Amy, I think.. that Ruth might be my grandmother..." Now I was getting excited and not just because Amy had written me a little note: "You look like a girl who would eat some pussy if pussy were offered. I'm done here at three. Meet me over by the steps at Zellerbach. I'd be happy to take your little ass over the moon..."I wrote a note to her: "I'm on my period now..." Amy read my note and kissed my cheek. She looked right. I did return to the Dean's house for the rest of that first summer. The next two summers I just spent two weeks at home and then returned to Deswait Academy and the Dean's house. Wherever they went on trips during the summers, I had been with them. Everyone was comfortable with the arrangement. Maybe my career in life would be as a tutor. It was a thought I didn't take seriously.But, my mind kept coming back to the question, 'What are you going to do for the rest of your life?' I had belabored. I suppose, on a personal note it was a good thing that finally after4 months back as Alex Turner I was feeling something.Unexpected I guess, that it was for a woman. But they say perhapsthat not something one has any control over.Furthermore it was unfortunately awkward that it was a patient. ButI'm a professional and it shouldn't be a factor. If I ever thought itwould become one I would recuse myself and hand her care over toMike.Perhaps she could sense my slight leanings of desire for now.
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