All her college stuff was in one backpack. After what I saw, it was very easy for me to make a decision. Once we were in my car I turned to her."I thi...k we'd need to have some lunch before we go shopping. My treat."After lunch in an ok, but not spectacular Italian restaurant, it finally occurred to her what I had meant by 'shopping'. When we entered the store that exclusively carried women's clothes, she started to protest. I stopped her, instantly."Stop it right there, Liz. Those clothes you. I didn’t hear her end the phone call. I was still holding her sandal to my face. Words were not forth coming from me. Then she said, ?It’s ok little one. My feet have been affecting men and women the same way for quite some time now. I’d never of thought you’d succumb so quickly, but I knew, or at least hoped you staying here would bring you to your knees.? Then she lifted her leg and stood on one foot. She used her bare foot to gently caress my face. I held my head still enjoying. After I dropped Lillian off at her meeting I had over 4 hours where I drove up the coast, stopped at a nice place for lunch then return to the hotel in the city after 2 in the afternoon. I thought of nothing else but our conversation that morning, once I got over the resentment I felt towards Lillian telling me the obvious, I began to think about small things Catherine did for me. I knew I would have to try harder to please her, to make her feel of value. I decided to begin by buying her a gift. This time the mirror was more forgiving. The Anastasia that looked me in the eye felt more self-confident this time.I didn’t throw away the wig. Instead, I took off my clothes and stared at myself for a long time. The reflection was that of a frail, small body, hairless, as white as milk. It was a cruel joke made by a universe that began to craft a girl but ultimately decided against it. Before the mold was cast, my essence had been randomly shoved elsewhere, shaped into something that’d never.
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