What life? My lifeisn't mine anymore. Her control is all I know now. My body isn't even mine. Theyboth do whatever they want to me. On going body modi...ications have made itimpossible for me to ever pass as a man anymore. What really hurts the mostthough is how defeated I really am. I can't make any decisions on my ownanymore. I do only as I'm told, that means everything but breathe basically. Ihaven't gone to the toilet without permission for over three years. I wouldn'tdare to touch food or. As the bus slowed down to herstop she stood up and in a loud mock whisper wished me "pleasant fantasydreams tonight" before getting off.For the rest of that afternoon and into dinner I was unusually subduedanswering questions and even then, using single syllable replies, beingdistantly distracted all evening as the anonymous gift sender drove me tocomplete distraction.During the washing up I asked Bernadette how her latest flame was turningout which meant that I didn't have to say another word. We broke our kiss and she feverishly unbuttoned her blouse and revealed a black lace bra that was cupping her breasts with the top half of her breast and nipples exposed. She stood dropped her skirt and I she she had on black suspender pantyhose and nothing else. I had already dropped my clothes and guided her back to the table. I pushed her back so she was leaning on her elbows, grabbed her knees, pushed them apart and pulled her to the edge of the table. I knelt down and immediately dove into. I hanged it for drying.It was 11.30 and Maami was about to finish her washing work.Maami: For this Diwali, We should take a washing machineI was thinking if she takes washing machine, I may miss the chances to see her like this.Me: Maamii.. Still you are 37. You don’t need washing machine.Maami: Madduu You are like your maama. You are ready to see me dying but don’t buy washing machine naMe: Die? People die if they wash clothes by hand?Maami: Fool. Nowadays I am getting back pain dear. Its.
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