In the morning I showed up ready to leave wearing my girl jeans, gymshoes and a blouse, minimum makeup and no lipstick. Earrings and abracelet my only...jewelry. Mom, also wearing slacks, drove. After we ate,she took us to the mall, pulling out a list almost as soon as we walkedinside."I don't know for sure, but I'll bet you need bras and more panties tostart with, certainly another dress at the minimum, maybe two, plus someskirts, blouses and tops. So lets start with lingerie and work our wayto. "I know sometimes it is hard to adapt to thechanging world." Well, there is no doubt that you are a wonderful parent to these two,"he said. "To raise a child like young Rachael here shows me that youhave God's blessings in you." I hope so," she said."And you my dear," he turned to Rachael. "Have you set anything up withthose young men I need to apologize to?" I was thinking Saturday," she said. "But I can postpone it if youaren't ready. You looked a little shaky up there today." I felt a lot. A few weeks later, Dad decided to torture himself. He started punching himself, cutting himself, throwing himself against a wall, throwing heavy objects at himself like rocks, balls, electric equipment, power tools—anything he could find. His face was bruised and bleeding. He went home that day with his disfigured and monstrously bruised face and said, ‘Have I suffered enough?’ Ma was horrified, but she said no. A few days later, Dad decided to throw himself out the window from our building. He. Eliza was snuggled to my side, tracing gentle patterns in my chest hair languidly with one fingertip. Of course, she knew exactly when I was awake... "Yes, I can see your dreams, but I prefer not to. Dreams are like hallucinations, they don't make much sense. I prefer just to gather the emotional content of the sleeping thoughts. Would you like me to wake you up if you start to have a nightmare?" I pondered the question a moment, and told her "No. I would rather my brain do what it wants..
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