I started for the door but then thought of something else we might be able to address early in our relationship. I went into the bathroom to pee and i...dicated she should follow me. Instead of whipping it out and doing the boy thing, I dropped my pants and sat. She heard me peeing into the water and looked between my legs to watch. When I was done, I stood and flushed the toilet. It was one of those power-flush models so it was loud. She backed up a step at the noise but watched the water swirl. And they wearknickers that are rather different from the shorts or underpants thatmen and boys wear. And often bras and knickers would be matching sets.But not always - the phrase often just meant "underwear" - but obviously"ladies underwear".Continuing a similar train of thought, another combination of words cameto mind: "stockings and suspenders". It was quite natural that the twoitems should go together. if you wear ladies stockings, you needsomething to hold them up. And I reflected that. Obviously there were exceptions where Fred was concerned.I did think that Cheryl should have first dibs, since she had made this all possible. If she wanted me, she should have me. Of course, maybe she didn’t want me! Maybe I was rubbish in bed! Maybe they were all arguing for who could avoid having to sleep with me! Typical male insecurity ambushed me when I was least expecting it. Maybe, in leaving them to discuss me alone, they were finally able to admit how fucking hopeless I was, how small. You sigh, forcibly snapping yourself from the memories and focusing instead on the raindrops dragging down your window. It doesn't take long before the sight and the overall depressing mood of the day begins to drag you down again, so you move back to your bedroom and lay back-first on the bed, wishing to high heaven that this would just be over, so you could actually move on with your life, to prison or back to college. At this point, either one looks palatable compared to your current.
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