You are not, under any circumstances, going to get drunk and spend the night giving Tami and Claire back massages. You are gonna pick up that phone, c...ll a locksmith, and when he arrives you are gonna go inside your apartment, jerk off, and go to sleep. Okay?Wait—is that lasagna I smell cooking?Turns out, Claire could cook a mean lasagna. They offered me a piece if, in return, I agreed to throw in a foot massage for each of them before we all went to bed.So we drank, and ate, and generally had. Connie found us that way when she came home.The next day, I took Donna to Medcenter and got her a prescription for birth control pills. She read the pamphlet all the way home. We went over the instructions together, and she began taking the pills a few days later.Connie bought Donna two toys; a small cylinder-shaped vibrator about as big around as my thumb and an inch or so long, and a pink plastic vibrator about three inches long and an inch in diameter. Donna said they worked, but she needed. I turned around and looked at Dan standing in his boxers. He was glancing from me to the toys and back again but to my surprise and relief, he seemed kind of excited about it. “Holy shit!” Dan said as he took the butt plug out of Matt’s arms. “Is this what I think it is?” He asked with an evil grin on his face. “Yeah, she likes it.” Matt responded. “How do you want to do this?” He asked him. “I don’t know. Whatever Jen wants to do I guess.” Dan said. “Well that’s no fun.” Matt said. “Here,. Wasn't the fact that she changed the subject and ran off evidence enough that my sister either remembered what we did and didn't want to talk about it, or did NOT remember and my pressing the subject might bring back painful, repressed memories for her?What the hell was wrong with me? I scolded myself.I was suddenly aware of something Jeff Foxworthy was famous for saying; but in my case it goes, 'You know you're a sick, fucking bastard when you hit on women at your family reunion.'"Danny!".
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