My friend asked me to help him round up his 37 sheep. I said “40”24. I’ve found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters. It’s shif... work.25. I went bobsleighing the other day, killed 250 bobs.26. I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Toronto zoo.27. What’s the difference between a good joke and a bad joke ... timing.28. Wife says to her programmer husband, “Go to the store and buy a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, buy a dozen.” Husband returns with 12 loaves of. ’ ‘That’s g—hey!’ ‘Gotcha.’ She laughed and then kissed him. ‘That would mean a lot to me, Brody, if you could do that.’ ‘All right then, that’s all settled. Now . . . hmmm. I had an idea, but you need to go somewhere else.’ ‘Go? I’m not going anywhere.’ ‘Just for a minute. Just wait in the hallway or something.’ ‘I don’t think so.’ Ryan shook her head. ‘I need a shower, will that get me out of the way long enough?’ ‘Oh, hey, now that’s a good idea. I could change up.’ ‘No, no, I want to see. Hours passed. We had talked nearly half the day and still had not run out of topics. She had told me earlier in the day that she needed to be at work early the next day. It was already 2:00am. I knew she needed to go, and I desperately tried to refrain from reminding her of her early appointments. But my fingers were already busily typing the words ‘shouldn’t you rest, my dear? You have to get up early.’ Unfortunately, I was right and with a long drawn out good-bye and an exchange of email. I was a punk, and believe me, that's nearly unheard of in this unnamed South American country with very old standards. People would have been even more amazed to learn the truth because I was what they called a "ladies guy" that is, I was constantly dating girls, constantly kissing them. I was very fond of girls, too much I realize now. I was obsessed with them, with boobs, with everything, and yet, I remained a virgin till I was 18, which also is strange here.When I was 18 my girlfriend found.
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