It was one thing telling that kind of thing over a beer to your buddy, but when his wife brings it up it's a little embarrassing.The evening was cool ...ut clear. Dozens of little candles hung from the giant oak tree in their back yard, glowing romantically as dusk cast its evening shadow over the setting. A wrought iron table was set up beneath its boughs with a long white table cloth spread over it and three tall silver candles providing light. Four matching chairs sat around it. It was elegant. Even with honey on my toast I knew I was in a sour mood… ‘Sweetie…WTF …The bitch hadn’t done pancakes for years …I had to remember back …too far…’Josh was looking at me…staring actually…had he got his balls back and realised youth was for youth…but then…I realised I looked like a rag doll in my old flannelette pj’s and my frizzy hair unmanageable and unruly before a shower and being tied back tight…shit I felt my cheek and realised I had a major puss erupting zit…this was esteem. "What am I?"A concept formed in its consciousness. Ghost. It decided it was a ghost. But whose ghost? It decided that didn't matter. It was content to be, simply, "Ghost."It took an interest in its immediate surroundings. It had no "eyes" but knew it was perceiving the reality around it as if it did. That was yet another thing it didn't fret about. None of that mattered. All that mattered was that it had a task to pursue. It realized it didn't know what that task was.If it had had shoulders,. Theother came when I overheard my "father" ask the doctor about, in hiswords, 'the hero who had rescued' me from my attacker.I started to have a very bad feeling. I still held out hope that this wassome bizarre dream, that maybe everything since my accident was a productof a sleeping, or maybe injured, male, mind.But I couldn't help but think of the last image in my memory before theaccident - of stopping my car to help a half-naked, bleeding girl. Itcouldn't be, could it? I didn't rescue this.
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