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Mum had made up a cupful of Colman’s English Mustard, and there was a bit of wheezing and sniffling as the others got used to the greater strength w...en you make it from the powder, rather than the ready-mixed jars. (Dad always kept the empty distinctive yellow tins; he said that they were ideal for keeping safe the odd screws, nuts and washers that would otherwise have got lost or mixed up in his shed or workbench in the garage.)Fred and Malcolm volunteered to wash up and dry, and Julie and I. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"4. My mother taught me LOGIC."Because I said so, that's why."5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC."If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT."Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."7. My mother taught me IRONY."Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."8. My mother taught me about the science of. Rich was lying on his back covered by blankets up to his waste. He had no shirt on and was reading Nana by Emile Zola. Violet sat on the floor Indian style in only a pink thong staring at the small TV in Rich’s room playing Call of Duty. As she looked up her perfect tits bounced as she cheerfully greeted me. “Hey Jon!” Violet said. “How are you doing?” She seemed a little chipper and that’s when I noticed the empty bottle of Jose Cuervo sitting on the table. This made sense because Rich had a. I was in love. ~~~~~Next morning, Lizzie had gone. I was upset that she hadn’t said goodbye but I found a note on the bedside table.‘Sorry I left without a word of goodbye. I wanted to wake you, but you slept like a baby. I thought I’d leave this note instead. Here’s my number for you to be in touch. Bye, Connie. I hope to see you back in England one day. Please message me. Love, Lizzie.’I saved her number on my phone and spent the rest of the holiday either sunbathing — I even had the courage.
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