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"We didn't,,really.. You know," I nervously asked him as I hoped thatwe hadn't, or if we had, that he had used protection. "Did we, you bet we did, ge... a few drinks in you and you become a realslut," he said, almost proud and showed why Anniek had turned him downin the past. "Please tell me you used protection, if you didn't, youare in so much trouble," I told him as I picked up my dress and held itagainst my breasts."I.. Well, I honestly don't remember, I wasn't too sober, and neitherwere you,. ” She waved to her figure and smiled her sadness. “It’s not really a cheat day.”“No? I can’t even tempt you? One bite?” He saw his cajoling wasn’t working.“Tempt her how?” Darlene asked looking over Elizabeth’s shoulders as she headed to the fridge. “Damn! That looks good!”“You got a cheat day?”“Cheat?” Darlene frowned. Elizabeth cheated? With Carlos.“On your diet.” He clarified.“Oh!” Darlene smiled wide. “My diet has always been ‘Never say no to sweet things from men who own vans.’”“Your mom. -Phyllis DillerWe spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up.-Phyllis DillerBurt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.-Phyllis DillerWhat I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.-Phyllis DillerThe only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.-Phyllis DillerHis finest hour lasted a minute and a. It was something that I had often fantasized about while I was … well … you know, in here on my own. I even keep condoms and lubricant in the drawer over there just in case. I never really thought it would actually happen. He never came here again. In fact, I haven’t even seen him around.”“And the second time, what happened then?”“Do you promise not to breathe a word to anyone?”“I told you I wouldn’t.”“Well, the thing is, it was your mother. It happened about five years ago. She came round to.
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