And absolutelynothing to do. Well, one day John - in his unforgiving boredom - starts roamingthe internet. Ebey, to be exact. There, he finds somethin... that he thinks will takeaway his boredom. He decides to make a bid on a book. the owner was offering it foronly 1 cent and apparently no one else made a bid on it, so for a quarter hefigured - what the hell. A couple weeks later a package with John's name on itarrives. John opens it in the living room and calls us all in. "Hey you guys,. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front. All those months spent in preparation had not been wasted.Intuition, or perhaps experience with other women, had alerted Nils to Monique’s state of readiness. When we entered our apartment he spoke a few appropriate words of admiration before saying, “But I think we have all been anticipating this moment for long enough. It would be good not to make ourselves wait any longer. Do you agree?”To my surprise, it was Monique who responded – not with words but by curling her arms behind Nils’ neck. They ruled the school while Imerely attended, and beyond that, we had little or nothing in common.But they would let the word out about me, and all of the other kids, theones that wanted to be like them, would start in on me, just hoping tobe accepted by the "in crowd." That wasn't going to happen, but I wouldbe the one taking the brunt of their abuse. There was only one way I hadany hope of recovering from this mess, but that was as far fetched as Icould imagine. Instead, I could see myself in.
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